I won’t get into how many times my children have disrobed at inopportune moments. They’ve
learned the entertainment value of nudity at a young age, what can I say?
I know I should have been embarrassed the time my kid ran around the church asking “Where the hell
is Mikey?” but it was damn funny.
I starred in a documentary about stay-at-home moms once. It was for a very talented
young lady’s college project, so I figured, what the heck, only ten people will ever see it. I made the colossal
mistake of trying to “wing it” and “just be myself.” Apparently I’m Pinocchio’s ineloquent, bloated corpse.
At one point she asks me a simple question and crickets were chirping waiting for me to respond. Lucky
me, she posted it on YouTube. Oh yeah, I forgot about the Internet. I thought, oh well, some chipmunk
will attack a tourist on film and it will soon disappear into obscurity. It probably still pops up seven
different ways when you Google my name. My stupid quotes, complete with “ums.” Nice.
The good news is I can never run for office.
More next week …