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Grandma

7/1/2013

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I miss my grandma.


Her hugs were just the right amount of squishy.  She smelled like bacon and
White Shoulders.  Staying at her house meant staying up late watching Johnny
Carson, putting curlers and goodness knows what else in her hair, the
possibility of swimming in the neighbor’s pool, garage sale-ing for treasures,
and food.  Lots and lots of delicious, yummy munchies.


I remember biscuits & gravy, chocolate covered donuts, bologna and cheese
sandwiches, Captain Crunch with crunchberries, Uncle Dan’s dressing
coating anything remotely good for you, fried chicken, iced tea so sweet it made
your teeth ache, coconut cream pies, and last, but not least, the best macaroni
and cheese ever.


Not the nasty orange come-in-a-box kind.  Real macaroni and cheese. Creamy,
artery-clogging, gooey heaven in a casserole dish.  If I were ordering my last
meal it’d be her fried chicken, mac & cheese, wilted lettuce (greens
sprinkled with hot bacon grease), and coconut cream pie for dessert.  It would
have to be my last meal, because it would likely induce a heart attack, but
that’s why it tastes sooo good.  No healthy food could ever make me as happy as
a mouthful of that mac & cheese.


Thankfully, before she passed on, she shared her secret recipe.  Every time I
make it (only on special occasions, when I can share it with others – lest I
bring on Type II diabetes), it feels like she is right there with me.  I follow
the recipe exactly as she dictated it to me, years ago, and I can hear her voice
saying, “Let it melt real slow.”  She was a great teacher.  She taught me a lot about
cooking, crocheting, and playing cards.




 You can imagine my dismay when Kraft stopped making the cheese she specified
needed to be used in her recipe.  I wrote the company, begging them to
reconsider.  They told me to use Velveeta.  It’s a good thing you can’t slap
someone over the Internet.  Grandma said, “DELUXE American,” not gelatinous
Velveeta.  Dammit.


Thankfully, they still make Deluxe American in deli slices, and I have been
able to adapt the recipe accordingly with it still tasting like Grandma’s.  I’m
sharing the recipe with you all here today, hoping you will help me keep Kraft
Deluxe American deli slices and my grandma’s memory alive.  Remember, please eat
responsibly.  I don’t want to be the cause of your arterial sclerosis.


Gram’s Mac & Cheese:

 1 qt. WHOLE milk

 1 lb. Kraft DELUXE American Cheese (Deli slices OK –just not the individually
wrapped kind).

 4 cups LARGE macaroni noodles

 4 tablespoons fresh bacon grease

 salt & pepper to taste


Pour milk into pan over med-low heat. Grate/crumble the deli slices into the
milk. Stir.  Let it melt real slow.  When the cheese is almost completely
melted, boil/drain macaroni noodles according to directions. When the cheese is
completely melted, add bacon grease and season to taste. Unfortunately, you have
never had Gram’s mac & cheese so you don’t know how much to season it. I
find I end up adding more salt than is reasonable. Pour noodles into a casserole
dish, then pour the sauce mix over the top. Poke noodles down into sauce as best
you can, then put it in the oven at 400 degrees until browned on top (about ten
minutes).

4 Comments

    Author

    Audra Middleton is a somewhat neurotic and terminally sarcastic author and mother of three from Washington State.

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