Tell us, Sergio…
What is your ultimate goal?
Ah. That is a thoughtful question that requires an equally thoughtful answer, one that takes into account the various synergies and convergences that have bedeviled my otherwise stellar career as an interplanetary mercenary. Some would claim my ultimate goal is to avoid decimation at the hands (if he has any) of the Lord of the planet Kleptofargh to whom I still owe the largest cyborg army in the galaxy, to stay alive another day. Others might insist I aim to take over the galaxy myself, one fine day. But if I were to tell the truth, my ultimate goal would surely involve eliminating that pesky witness who claims she has seen me kill my own father. Of course, she is entirely mistaken; yet her wild assertions might interfere with the business deals that keep me alive.
What makes you so driven to accomplish this goal?
Even an interplanetary mercenary has a reputation to uphold. My business partners do not care a whit that I might have murdered my own father. They certainly would concern themselves with my utter failure to carry out my real mission that night, and my ties to the forces on my home planet who recruited me to kill for them. Such knowledge would surely cut well into my ability to make a profit, if not cost me my own life.
If you could choose anyone from the literary world as your partner in crime, who would you choose and why?
As a fan of the film and literary arts on your little planet Earth, I am well informed to answer this question. Upon significant reflection, I must request Professor Moriarty, the archenemy of Mister Sherlock Holmes. The esteemed Professor’s intelligence might nearly match my own, and his ability to disappear rapidly, leaving those behind him wondering if he ever existed, suits my modus operandi to a T.
If Professor Moriarty is unavoidably detained from such a partnership, given my choice of Earth name, I would not be able to decline an offer of assistance from Angel Eyes, also known as Mister Lee Van Cleef. A brutal assistant might come in quite handy…
Describe yourself in three words or less.
Pardon me? It is not in my nature to economize with words. However, since you’ve been so gracious in this interview, I will do my best to narrow my response to three words. In order to do so, let us stipulate that handsome, brave, and intelligent go without saying, so to speak. Ergo, three additional words to describe me might include: devious, duplicitous, and treacherous.
I appreciate your attempt at brevity, Mr. Eastwood. Here’s a bit more about this lovely work of science fiction with a sense of humor:
Louise Armstrong Holliday is the last person on Earth you’d expect to save the human race. But when she uncovers proof that her boss is an alien the color of lime Jell-O gone horribly wrong, and is at the center of a plot to destroy humanity, Louie decides to do exactly that. She begins a journey from her company’s suburban Seattle office park to the old cities and castles of Eastern Europe. Along the way, Louie is attacked by flying books, overly-sensitive bat-crow monsters, and her own self-doubts. She must learn the truth about her closest friend, stand up to her boss, confront her oldest enemy, and make peace with her Aunt Emma, who annoys her in the way only true family can. She also has to rely on Buddy, the little blind mini-Schnauzer who saves her life twice—and really is from Mars.
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