Audra Writes
  • Home
  • Monthly Blog
  • Watcher
  • Abomination
  • Hitchhiker
  • Middle Eight

Questionable TV

11/1/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture
I went six years without television. It wasn’t on purpose. We moved during the writer’s strike, and didn’t bother to get cable or satellite hooked up right away just to watch reruns. And after a two week withdrawal period, we realized we didn’t miss it. We enjoyed the quiet, the conversations had, the free time available, the creative play our children engaged in. We didn’t go cold-turkey, mind you. We did the Netflix thing, watching movies and a few TV series one season behind the times.

And then my son got sick, and we spent over a month in the hospital. TV offered a mindless escape. The key word being mindless. A gazillion channels, and very little worth watching. Reality TV, YouTube highlight shows, reruns. It left me perplexed.

What’s with all the shows where cameramen follow random people around all day, as if we care? Honey Boo Boo, Kardashians, Real Housewives from wherever. I’ve been more entertained in the check out line at Wal-Mart.

So HGTV is no longer home improvement shows, just a bunch of middle class people expecting to buy homes worthy of the Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous? I can’t live without granite countertops. And ew, white appliances? We’ll need to gut this kitchen. Do these people wipe with dollar bills too?

What’s the difference between Extreme Couponing and Horders? I don’t care if it’s free, who needs a crate of toothpicks? Are they really going to eat a gross of yogurt before it goes bad?

And those Depends commercials - Underwareness? Please, God, tell me this is not a real thing. I can’t tell you how much I don’t need to be aware of anyone’s adult diaper situation.

Why do they call it reality TV? Everything’s scripted, except none of the people on screen can act, so it’s just really painful to watch. And yet I do. I can’t wait to see what the producers planted in that storage locker for the really bad actors to find. It’s so wrong.

When did they stop censoring commercials? I mean, normally I’m not a fan of censorship, but my seven year old does not need to witness a zombie’s brains being blown out or that creepy doll bleeding out its eyeballs or that sultry woman explaining ED in intimate detail seven times a day. That zombie commercial, by the way, appeared during an afternoon showing of Spongebob.

Is there a show that everybody watches anymore? There’s so many, on every channel, the odds of finding someone else at the water cooler who watches the same thing is slim-to-none. I miss the days when you could say “Master of my own domain” or “More cow bell” and everyone knew exactly what you were talking about.

Mostly, though, I miss the days when I had no TV. The mindless escape of cable has helped get me through a tough time, but I look forward to the time when I no longer feel the need to see what kind of fashion masterpiece that panicked designer made out of soccer balls and a throw pillow.

0 Comments

    Author

    Audra Middleton is a somewhat neurotic and terminally sarcastic author and mother of three from Washington State.

    Archives

    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012

    Categories

    All
    3 Day 3 Quote Challenge
    Abomination
    Afterglow
    Ainsley
    Alan Joshua
    Allison Knight
    Andrea Cooper
    Angelica Hart
    Angelina J Windsor
    Ann Everett
    Ann Harvey
    Anxiety
    April Fool
    Authors
    Benaiah
    Ben Franklin
    Blog Hop
    Cancer
    Carlyle Clark
    Celia Breslin
    Character Interviews
    Charles Brass
    Church
    C Lee Brown
    Closet Cleaning
    Coffee
    Colleen S Myers
    Conferences
    Contest
    Cookies
    Crime Fiction
    Crime Fiction
    Dani Collins
    Diana Green
    Diet
    DJ Davis
    D.L. Tabor
    Dove
    Dragon Cookie
    Elizabeth Fountain
    Embarrassing Moments
    Emoji
    Exercise
    Fantasy
    Fantasy Writers
    Fashion
    Flip Phone
    Gary Eddings
    Getting Old
    Giveaway
    Google
    Goran
    Graeme Brown
    Grandma
    Hannah Lokos
    Haven
    Helen Henderson
    Heroes
    Highland Promise
    Historical Fiction
    Hitchhiker
    Holly Hunt
    Hollywood
    Humor
    Inspiring Quotes
    Into The Lyons' Den
    Jack
    J.A. Garland
    Jane
    January Bain
    Jenna Greene
    John Lennon
    Joyce Proell
    Joyce Ward
    JP Lundstrom
    JS Marlo
    Judy Gill
    Judy Goodwin
    Julie Eberhart Painter
    Karin Rita Gastreich
    Keir
    Keith McCoy
    Kenneth Schultz
    Kerry Tolan
    Kindle Fire
    Laundry
    Let's Eat
    Leukemia
    Linda Rettstatt
    Linda Ulleseit
    Little Things
    Love
    L.T. Getty
    Macaroni & Cheese
    Maggie Thom
    Mary Mccall
    Middle Eight
    Misa Buckley
    Mom Characters
    Moms
    Movies
    Mystery
    New Year's
    Nicholas Andrews
    Nikki Andrews
    Nordstrom
    Olga Godim
    On-line Shopping
    Over The Rainbow
    Paranormal
    Parenthood
    Paula Kennedy
    Pippa Jay
    Plants Vs Zombies
    Poetry
    Professional Development
    Recipe
    Resolutions
    Richard Hacker
    Rita Bay
    Roderick Vincent
    Romance
    Romance Writers
    Ron D Voigts
    Scary Movies
    Science Fiction
    Seahawks
    Shoe Shopping
    Sledding
    Smart Phone
    Sneak Peek
    Snow Day
    Spanx
    Super Bowl
    Susan Stec
    Suspense
    Swim Suits
    Tainted Waters
    Teaching
    Technology
    Term & Conditions Apply
    Texting
    The Cloud
    The Next Big Thing
    TV
    Ute Carbone
    Valentines
    Veronica Hart
    Villains
    Watcher
    Wii
    Wiifit
    Windsong
    Writer's Block
    Writing
    You
    Zi
    Zombie Apocalypse

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.