I spent most of last year caring for my son as he battled cancer. The only exercise I got was the nervous rocking of a worried mom, which is not enough to burn off those horrific hospital cafeteria meals. As a result, I am currently suffering from a tight wardrobe and a serious case of muffin top. It's time for me to take action. Today I will eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow I begin some serious diet and exercise. And you get to follow my torturous ride!
I have chosen the Atkins Diet. Normally my dieting attempts last all of one day, so I figure my best chance at succeeding is a diet that includes all the meat and cheese I can eat.
As for exercise, in addition to my exercise bike, I bought myself some dance exercise videos. My dancing is hysterical, so I thought it might make the exercise experience more fun if I’m laughing at myself as I go.
Excuse me while I scarf down one last Kit Kat before the pain begins…
Day One – This is why I don’t diet. All I can think about is food. Chocolate chip cookies. I can’t stop thinking about Nestle chocolate chip cookies. I’m salivating, literally drooling.
Day Two – My exercise video has arrived. Who are these people and why are they so perky? And why do they think I know how to do the 'get busy?' I think that requires an explanation.
Day Three – If I’m eating an entire trough of salad, is it really doing me any good? Mightn’t I just as well eat a sandwich? Good grief. I miss bread.
Day Four – I just rode my bike for a half an hour. I’m sweating like a cold drink on a hot day and I only burned enough calories to cover that tablespoon of peanut butter I dipped my apple in for lunch. Unreal.
Day ?? – Offer me a cupcake right now and you may pull back a bloody stump.
Day ‘Are we there yet?’ – The scale isn’t impressed with my efforts, but I feel skinnier. I’m about ready to call it. Good enough.
Day ‘Almost used to this’ – I feel kind of like the little engine that could. My pants are no longer cutting off my circulation. I said, “no” to a candy bar without crying. I think I can!
Day ‘Oops’ – Ok, this little engine derailed. I love pizza. How many hours on the bike can erase three slices of pepperoni & cheese deliciousness?
Day ‘screw it’ – I’m buying bigger pants and blouson shirts. Problem solved.
I have chosen the Atkins Diet. Normally my dieting attempts last all of one day, so I figure my best chance at succeeding is a diet that includes all the meat and cheese I can eat.
As for exercise, in addition to my exercise bike, I bought myself some dance exercise videos. My dancing is hysterical, so I thought it might make the exercise experience more fun if I’m laughing at myself as I go.
Excuse me while I scarf down one last Kit Kat before the pain begins…
Day One – This is why I don’t diet. All I can think about is food. Chocolate chip cookies. I can’t stop thinking about Nestle chocolate chip cookies. I’m salivating, literally drooling.
Day Two – My exercise video has arrived. Who are these people and why are they so perky? And why do they think I know how to do the 'get busy?' I think that requires an explanation.
Day Three – If I’m eating an entire trough of salad, is it really doing me any good? Mightn’t I just as well eat a sandwich? Good grief. I miss bread.
Day Four – I just rode my bike for a half an hour. I’m sweating like a cold drink on a hot day and I only burned enough calories to cover that tablespoon of peanut butter I dipped my apple in for lunch. Unreal.
Day ?? – Offer me a cupcake right now and you may pull back a bloody stump.
Day ‘Are we there yet?’ – The scale isn’t impressed with my efforts, but I feel skinnier. I’m about ready to call it. Good enough.
Day ‘Almost used to this’ – I feel kind of like the little engine that could. My pants are no longer cutting off my circulation. I said, “no” to a candy bar without crying. I think I can!
Day ‘Oops’ – Ok, this little engine derailed. I love pizza. How many hours on the bike can erase three slices of pepperoni & cheese deliciousness?
Day ‘screw it’ – I’m buying bigger pants and blouson shirts. Problem solved.
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