Much to my dismay, texting has become a part of life. Oh, I suppose it’s fine for quick question/answer situations, but for conversation purposes, it’s excruciating. You have to be brief while still getting your point across. This can easily lead to misunderstandings, especially for someone who frequently speaks sarcasm. My tone of voice speaks volumes. How does one convey tone of voice in brief textual interactions? Oh right, that’s what emojis are for. Except when I pull up the sizable list of possible round, yellow faces, I find myself frozen in confusion and indecisiveness.
Take this one, for instance. Does it mean ‘That sucks,’ or ‘I’m constipated?’
And this one. Does that mean ‘I’m just being a brat,’ or ‘I want to lick you?’
Does this mean ‘kiss my ass’ or ‘I wanna make out?’
And the one with the teeth. ‘I’m hoping you will overlook my mistake and find me endearing,’ or ‘Watch out, I bite?’
I thought this was the sarcasm icon. Apparently it has sexual connotations. So instead of telling my co-worker ‘yea, right!’ I said, ‘you know you want me.’
I’m not sure if that means I’m embarrassed or I’m delirious with fever, but one works as a reaction, one as an explanation, so I figure I’m covered either way.
Why does this guy have a snot bubble coming out of his nose?
Don’t get me started on all those non-face options. We all know that swirl of brown does not mean chocolate pudding, but what does the robot mean? ‘I’m the terminator?’ And what possible reason could I have for using a pink poodle? An old school Atari joystick? Is that one sexual? And those food icons are oddly specific. Don’t panic everyone, we have emojis for prawns AND yams for all of your seafood and tuber needs.
Maybe that’s the fun of emojis, the uncertainty. Maybe they’re being a smart ass, maybe they’re coming on to you. It’s a mystery. Well, I’m not a mystery writer, so I think I’ll stick with the standard 70s smiley face and cryptic text responses. Oh, and non-virtual human interaction. That works too.
Maybe that’s the fun of emojis, the uncertainty. Maybe they’re being a smart ass, maybe they’re coming on to you. It’s a mystery. Well, I’m not a mystery writer, so I think I’ll stick with the standard 70s smiley face and cryptic text responses. Oh, and non-virtual human interaction. That works too.
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