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Mom interview ~ Mrs. Elizabeth Luparell

5/18/2017

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Mothers have taken over my blog this month - and they've brought a giveaway, so be sure to enter! Today Mrs. Elizabeth Luparell from Celia Breslin's book, Jasmine Moon is here with us.

We're so glad you could join us, Mrs. Luparell. Perhaps you could share with us what you see as the most challenging aspect of motherhood?

 
Oh my goodness, my dear, mothers face so many parenting challenges. When my three three Wolf shifter children were toddlers, for example, I wished I could clone myself to keep up with all of them, especially when they would run off in different directions in the forest around our home.
 
That would be challenging! Now, what would you say is your proudest mom moment?
 
Bless your heart for asking. My youngest child and only daughter, Lexi is marrying her childhood friend and soul mate, Jake. I’m so proud of her for following her heart and trusting in love.
 
My mom used to say “I’ve had it up to here!” and “Who do you think you are?” a lot. What is your go-to momism?
 
::chuckles:: “Take it outside, Luparells!” My children were so energetic, all day, every day.  I can’t tell you how much broken furniture and other household items we lost to their antics.
 
I can imagine! So tell us, what is the most valuable thing your mother taught you?
 
When your life feels out of control, when you feel like you’re hanging on by one, weak thread… Stop. Close your eyes. And breathe. It’s important to take small moments for yourself.
 
Sound advice! So tell us about your kids. Do they take after you at all?
 
I have three wonderful children, all adults now, and hopefully making me grandchildren very soon!  My eldest, Evan is in the technology business with his brother Ross. Their younger sister Lexi is a wonderful artist. I’d like to think they take after me a little bit. They have my eyes. Whiskey eyes, my husband says. My kids love the outdoors, as do I. As for their personalities, they’re as different as night and day, unique and special. Thanks for asking.
 
How about some This or That?
 
Bacon & eggs or cereal & milk?
Bacon and eggs. Wolf shifters require plentiful protein.

Themed party or meet for drinks?
Themed party.

Cosmopolitan or beer?
Guinness. And whiskey.

Mini-van or Cooper mini?
Pickup truck.

Home cooked or take out?
Home-cooked. Preferably by my gifted sister-in-law.

Paper plates or Fine China?
Both. Depends on the occasion, dear.
 
Thanks so much for being here, Mrs. Luparell! Here's more about the book, Jasmine Moon:

Tech mogul and workaholic wolf Evan Luparell has little time for distractions but takes a break for his brother’s wedding in South Dakota. When asked to escort another wedding attendee from the airport to Los Lobos, he agrees. Then he meets the curvy spitfire, and she ignores him.
 
Designer and wolf Mina Carver didn’t mean to be rude to the handsome, glowering man claiming to be her ride, but she was busy working. Now she must endure a ride to the Black Hills with the cranky but sexy dominant wolf. Unexpected mating energy sparks between them, but still—should she dismiss, or kiss him?
 
Kisses win and they agree upon a no-strings fling. But with each wedding activity throwing them together, and their powerful chemistry and mate compatibility complicating matters, can two workaholics truly have their fun then walk away?
 
Available at:
Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Jasmine-Moon-Black-Hills-Wolves-ebook/dp/B01GKB9WMO/
Amazon US: https://www.amazon.com/Jasmine-Moon-Black-Hills-Wolves-ebook/dp/B01GKB9WMO/
Barnes & Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/jasmine-moon-celia-breslin/1123876933
Kobo: https://store.kobobooks.com/en-us/ebook/jasmine-moon-black-hills-wolves-49
Bookstrand: http://www.bookstrand.com/jasmine-moon-black-hills-wolves-49
Google Play: https://play.google.com/store/books/details/Celia_Breslin_Jasmine_Moon_Black_Hills_Wolves_49?id=Dw5IDAAAQBAJ
iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/nz/book/jasmine-moon/id1120906279?mt=11
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/640868

And now, here's more about the author, Celia Breslin:
 
Celia lives in California with her husband, daughter, and two feisty cats. She writes urban fantasy and paranormal romance, and has a particular fondness for werewolves, vampires, and the Fae. When not writing, you’ll find Celia exercising, reading a good book, hanging with her family, or indulging her addiction to Joss Whedon’s TV shows and movies.
 
Web site: http://www.celiabreslin.com/
 
Blog: http://www.celiabreslin.com/blog/
 
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/celiabreslin
 
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CeliaBreslinAuthor
 
Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/CeliaBreslin
 
Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/celiabreslin/
 
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/celiabreslin/
 
Newsletter:  http://eepurl.com/bxqwRL

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Mom interview ~ Julie Lavoie

5/15/2017

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I hope everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day! Speaking of moms, I have a mom character from J.S. Marlo's book, Thin Ice with me today. Why don't you introduce yourself, Julie?

​Hi! I’m Julie Lavoie, Thierry’s mother in Thin Ice. I swear that child of mine will be the death of me one day.
 
Okay, tell us more. What do you see as the most challenging aspect of motherhood?
 
To let go and worry less about my son’s choices and whereabouts. I know I raised him well, so after eighteen years, you think I would have figured out how to turn off the “mother” switch. Well, I’m still trying to locate that switch…
 
I see. And what would you say is your proudest mom moment?
 
When Thierry was about ten-years-old, he stood up—alone—against an abusive coach and fought for justice. It defined the amazing young man he became, and though it came at a cost, I couldn’t have been prouder.
 
What is the most valuable thing your mother taught you?
 
My mother taught me to be independent, to pursue an education and not to rely on anyone. So, what did I do? I eloped at eighteen to follow my heart and pursue my dreams. As a mother, I taught my son the value of integrity and hard work and encouraged him to listen to his heart and never give up his dreams.
 
Tell us about your kids. Do they take after you at all?
 
Though we would have loved more children, my late husband Matthieu and I were only blessed with one child. Thierry. Between you and me, I haven’t lost faith yet I might be given another chance at motherhood, but my internal clock is sure ticking like a bomb.
 
My son Thierry is an eighteen-years-old goaltender who plays junior hockey for a Canadian team. He doesn’t look for trouble, but trouble seems to chase after him. He’s on his way to attend an outdoor tournament in Spokane right now and I’m trying to rein in the bad feelings gnawing my insides.
 
Thierry takes after his dad. Same sense of duty, same work ethics, same sense of adventure, and same physique. Thankfully Thierry isn’t as reckless as his dad, which isn’t much of a consolation considering Matthieu was a fighter pilot in the Canadian Air Force until his plane crashed.
 
Sometimes I wonder if Thierry inherited anything from me—except my eyes.
 
Now let's try some This or That? :
 
Bacon & eggs or cereal & milk?
 
Cereal & milk for breakfast on weekdays. Bacon & eggs for brunch on weekends.
 
Curlers to bed or lucky to remember a morning comb through?
 
Are you telling me I’m supposed to care about styling my hair? I wash it and I brush it, that’s it! The only day it looks amazing is when I come back from the hairdresser.
 
Minivan or Cooper mini?
 
Minivan, though I admit I like the rental SUV I’m currently driving while my beloved minivan is being repaired. Can you believe the tailgate of a pickup truck sliced through the passenger doors of my minivan while spinning in the icy parking lot of my office?
 
Home cooked or take out?
 
It depends on the day, how tired I am, and if I’m eating alone. Take out is more convenient, but it rarely tastes as good as home cooked meals.
 
Paper plates or Fine China?
 
Well, I don’t like cutting anything in paper plates. It tends to cut through and make a mess on the table. On the other hand, I’m clumsy, so I’m afraid to use Fine China and chip or break a piece. So, I use cheap “everyday” dishes -- and still feel bad when I drop, bang, or break something.
 
Wash your mouth out with soap or pay the swear jar?
 
Though I have an extensive knowledge of “colorful” words, both in French and in English, I never utter them out loud. I “swear” my son didn’t learn any of them from me.

Thanks so much for stopping by, Julie! Here's more about Thin Ice:

Can the truth unleash the past and set their hearts and minds free?
***
Thierry Leboeuf, an eighteen-year-old goaltender, witnesses the drug problems plaguing his teammates. On the verge of exposing the traffickers, he vanishes on his way to a hockey tournament. 
Julie Lavoie is no stranger to personal tragedy, but as she contemplates giving love a second chance, she must face her fears regarding the occupation of Rubens “Luke” Lucas, a federal agent embroiled in an explosive investigation.
The sudden disappearance of her only son tests Julie’s courage and determination. She welcomes Luke’s help to search for Thierry, but their two investigations intertwine, jeopardizing her chances of ever seeing her son again.

To Buy the Book:

Champagne Books: http://champagnebooks.com/store/index.php?id_manufacturer=169&controller=manufacturer
 
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Thin-Ice-Heart-Endurance-Book-ebook/dp/B072DXQ524/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8
 
Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/thin-ice-21

For more about author J. S. Marlo:

Website: https://sites.google.com/site/jsmarloauthor/home
 
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100005715001393
 
Twitter: @JSMarloAuthor
 
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/2079858.J_S_Marlo


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Mom Interview ~ Moira Robbins

5/11/2017

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The Mother of all Character Interviews continue here on my blog! Today's guest mom is Moira Robbins, from Veronica Hart's novel, The Prince of Keegan Bay. She is 34 years old, mother of Hamilton Robbins, aka Hamid al Wafiki, the Crown prince of Kushawa. She has since married her hero, Vance Everhardt.

So, Moira, what do you see as the most challenging aspect of motherhood?
At first it was keeping my son safe from KARP, the Kushawan Alliance of Royal Princes. They set out to assassinate him before he turned six months old. Now it is keeping him safe living in the rocky mountains inside a well-protected compound, but an area still rife with predatory animals and snakes.

What is your proudest mom moment?
It was on Christmas day when Ham turned six months old and I could still hold him in my arms. The assassins lost their chance to kill him before his official name day. He is now and will always be the Crown Prince of Kushawa.

My mom used to say “I’ve had it up to here!” and “Who do you think you are?” a lot. What is your go-to momism?
Now that we're several years beyond that episode and living safely in the Colorado foothills, my biggest concern is that he be safe from predators, like bobcats and rattle snakes. Mostly I find myself saying, "Have you got your leather boots on and your cellphone in your pocket?" before he goes out to play.

What is the most valuable thing your mother taught you?
I think it is that I should go for what I want in life. I grew up in a very small farming community in upstate New York. Not many kids went on to college. I did. Mom always encouraged me supported all my decisions right up until she drew her dying breath. She was the best mother in the world. I always wish I had been there for her those last few days, but she saw to Hamid's safety in spite of her sudden turn.

Tell us about your kids. Do they take after you at all?
Hamilton looks very much like his father, except for the red hair he got from me. Vanessa resembles her father, Vance; and Jessie is a great composite of the two of us. As for taking after me, I'd say Vanessa is most like me, personality-wise. At six, she's a tomboy and loves following Ham around the property. The two of them are always trying to elude their body guards. So far, after seven years out here, no one seems to be looking for us any longer. But, you never know about the middle eastern dynasties. 

And now, how about some 'This or That?' 

Bacon & eggs or cereal & milk?
Bacon and eggs, pancakes, berries.
Themed party or meet for drinks?
Meet for drinks, spontaneously. It's not good for people to know my schedule, so everything is always last minute.
Cosmopolitan or beer?
Actually, a single malt scotch. Sometimes a martini when we're out.
Home cooked or take out?
Home cooked. Vance and I love to work together in the kitchen, and the nearest take-out is about forty-five miles away.
Neiman Marcus or Walmart?
What's a Walmart?

Thanks so much for joining us today, Moira. And now, more about The Prince of Keegan Bay:
Based on the ancient Kushawan legend, the infant Hamilton Robbins must die before Christmas night. Seventy-year-old Doll Reynolds calls together residents of Keegan Bay to save him.

When the American born heir to the kingdom of Kushawa is hidden in an age-qualified retirement community, a battle of wits and tactics develops between the Kushawan Alliance of Royal Princes (KARP), determined to eliminate the infant, and a group of senior citizens, The Blenders, equally determined to save him. Doll Reynolds pulls the residents into a unified group while the baby's mother, Moira Robbins, risks her life to lure the KARP assassins away from her child.


To buy the book:
http://champagnebooks.com/store/index.php?controller=search&orderby=position&orderway=desc&search_query=The+Prince+of+Keegan+Bay

For more about Veronica Hart and her projects: 

www.veronicahhart.com
​Writing about Historical, Humorous, Adventurous, and always Strong, Women

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Mom Interview ~ Marbella Wellingway

5/8/2017

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Make your bed and wash behind those ears! The moms have arrived on my blog. Today I'm interviewing Marbella Wellingway from Ron D. Voigts' novel, The Fortune Teller's Secret.

So what is this all about, Audra?

I am doing an interview of a “mom character” for my blog “Audra Writes.” Ron Voigts suggested you from his book, The Fortune Teller’s Secret.

(Marbella clears throat, sounding like a chipmunk.) I am honored.

If you are ready, let’s try this. What do you see as the most challenging aspect of motherhood?

I don’t have to think long on that. Getting your child to realize that Mother isn’t an old fuddy-duddy or stupid. I am sixty-four years old and my daughter questions my actions, advice, and wisdom. When she was eight she believed I knew everything and now—? (Squeaks again.)

What is your proudest mom moment?

(Marbella smiles.) When my daughter, Alexandra, was twelve she found her great-great-grandmother’s spell book. Asked me to teach her some things. I was quite happy she took an interest in her witch heritage. She showed a real aptitude for casting spells. Opening locks with an incantation was here strong point. Couldn’t keep her in her room after that. She didn’t give two hoots for potions and herbal penchants.

My mom used to say “I’ve had it up to here!” and “Who do you think you are?” a lot. What is your go-to momism?

That is an easy one. “You’ll be the death of me yet.” And she will be too!

Tell us about your daughter. Does she take after you at all?

Alexandra and I are nothing alike. Night and day. Oil and water. We are polar opposites. I enjoy gourmet meals, a glass of cognac, and the opera. She is pizza, beer, and heavy metal music.

You mean you two never see eye-to-eye?

Well, we have our moments. When the chips down, she is there for me and I for her.

Let’s try something different. Something called “This or that?” Ready? Themed party or meet for drinks?

Themed party of course. I always loved a mask ball.

Wash your mouth out with soap or pay the swear jar?

What’s a swear jar?

Okay. Let’s try another. Cosmopolitan or beer?

I already told you I don’t like beer. This is a silly game.

I’ll take that as a Cosmopolitan. Downton Abbey’s dowager countess or Carol Brady?

Do you mean which am I most like? Well, not Carol Brady? Could not stand to have those six rug-rats under foot. I guess that means the Countess.

Curlers to bed or lucky to remember a morning comb through?

To be truthful, I do my own hair. I use to go to a little beauty shop downtown, but they never got it right. I don’t have to do much to my hair. (Touches a frizzy edge.)

Audra: Let’s call that one a tossup.

Oh, look at the time. I have a bridge game at three. Got to run. Ta-ta.
(She hustles off.)
​
Ta-ta, Ms. Wellingway! Here's more about The Fortune Teller's Secret:

A dead man on a Ferris wheel and a cold-case murder take Cavendish Brown into a world of carnival kooks, ghosts, and killers. The annual carnival comes to Maiden Falls, a small town in the West Virginia Mountains, but everything is not merry. The ghost of a woman appears to Cavendish Brown, a carnival worker lies dead aboard a car on the Ferris wheel, and a bullied teenager plots to kill people at the carnival with a homemade bomb. More complications arise. Cavendish again butts heads with the local sheriff, Clinton Pike. Marbella Wellingway, owner of the newspaper where Cavendish works, receives a visit from the Angel of Death. And a Fortune Teller at the carnival knows something that could forever change Cavendish’s life. With the aid of Jane, a disturbed psychic, and Alexandra, a Goth witch, he must find the killer, help the mystery woman, and risk his life to prevent more deaths.


To Buy the Book:
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Fortune-Tellers-Cavendish-Paranormal-Mystery-ebook/dp/B06X9ZG7P6/
Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/the-fortune-teller-s-secret-2
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/706690
CBG: http://champagnebooks.com/store/index.php?id_product=686&controller=product

For more info about author Ron D. Voigts and his projects:
http://www.authorrondvoigts.com/
https://twitter.com/RonDVoigts (@RonDVoigts)
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4939421.Ron_D_Voigts
https://www.facebook.com/AuthorRonDVoigts/



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Mom interview ~ Sybil

5/4/2017

2 Comments

 
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The mom interviews continue here on my blog! Today we have Sybil from author Andrea Cooper's book, Lyric.

Welcome, Sybil! Tell us, what do you see as the most challenging aspect of motherhood?

Learning to let go. Allowing kids to make mistakes and fix them on their own.
 
So true! How about 'momisms?' My mom used to say “I’ve had it up to here!” and “Who do you think you are?” a lot. What is your go-to momism?

Because I said so.
 
That's a true classic. What would you say is the most valuable thing your mother taught you?

Standing up for myself and following my heart.

 
Tell us about your kids. Do they take after you at all?

Cassandra has my siren voice, but as a half-breed, she can’t woo females, just males to her lair.


A siren voice, you say? That's a powerful legacy! Why don't you answer these This or That questions while I go find some earplugs...

June Cleaver or Morticia Adams? 
Morticia Adams

Themed party or meet for drinks? 
Drinks

Cosmopolitan or beer?
Cosmopolitan
Home cooked or take out?
Take out
Neiman Marcus or Walmart?
Please, Neiman Marcus

Wash your mouth out with soap or pay the swear jar?
Pay the swear jar

Well, thanks so much for joining us, Sybil! Order yourself a cosmo on me.

Here's more about Lyric by Andrea Cooper:


No man can resist a siren's song...

Half-siren/Half-succubus Cassie must convince a CEO to give her interior decorating company a chance at his offices in order to stay in the black. But even after using her persuasive voice, he refuses. What can she do to change his mind?

Daniel Davis has a secret he’s paid hundreds of thousands to keep that way. Now when exotic Cassie marches into his office, he can’t stop thinking about her and makes her an offer. Be his date for a high-profile party and he’ll consider her company for his office redecorating project.

After an accident, Cassie gives Daniel her blood to heal him. Trouble is, if she can’t keep him alive, he’ll become a soulless ghoul.

Worse, someone is out to kill him. Can Cassie keep him alive…both in fighting her nature and from whoever is after him?


Buy Link for Lyric:
 
Amazon/ KU : http://a.co/c64SbkO

About the Author:
Andrea has always created characters and stories. But it wasn't until she was in her late twenties that she started writing novels.


What happened that ignited the writing flame in her fingers? Divorced, and disillusioned by love songs and stories. They exaggerate. She thought. Love and Romance are not like that in the real world. Then she met her husband and realized, yes love and romance are exactly like the songs and stories say. She is now a happy wife, and a mom to three kids (two boys and a girl).

Andrea writes paranormal and historical romance. When not writing or reading, one may findAndrea dancing in Zumba.

She believes in the power of change and counting each moment as a blessing.
 But most importantly, she believes in love.
 
Author Website: www.AndreaRCooper.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AndreaRCooper.author
Twitter: https://twitter.com/AndreaRCooper

Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6934877.Andrea_R_Cooper


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Mom Interview ~ Ann Everett's Pattiecake McAlister

5/1/2017

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Be sure to tuck in your shirt and eat your veggies - it's the Mother of all Character Interviews month here on my blog! A new author & mom character will be featured every few days - plus there's a giveaway! Today author Ann Everett's Pattie McAlister steps out of the pages of the Tizzy/Ridge trilogy and takes over my blog.

Tell us, Mrs. McAlister, what do you see as the most challenging aspect of motherhood?
 
I think the answer to this changed over time. When the kids were small, it was keeping the peace, but as they got older, I think it became giving them freedom. I’ve always liked to keep my chicks close to the nest, so letting go was difficult.
 
 What is your proudest mom moment?
 
After Tizzy went to college, she wrote a letter to me and her dad to say what a good job we’d done leading by example. On days when I get overwhelmed, I take the letter out and read it again!
 
 My mom used to say “I’ve had it up to here!” and “Who do you think you are?” a lot. What is your go-to momism?
 
 “You’re making me crazy!”  “Excuse me, I forgot you know everything!”
 
 Tell us about your kids. Do they take after you at all?
 
That’s a hard one. In appearance, I think Dan looks like his dad and Tizzy looks like me. In personality, I’m not sure either take after me or their daddy! They’re both a little head strong and stubborn.
 
This or That?  

Themed party or meet for drinks?
Since I own a bakery, it’s definitely themed party. We host many of those at the shop. I’ve also been known to throw a wing-ding at my house!
 
Mini-van or Cooper mini?
Mini Van. A mini Cooper wouldn’t begin to have enough room for all of my stuff!
 
Home cooked or take out?
Home cooked most of the time, but getting take out now and again is really nice.
 
Neiman Marcus or Walmart?
My daughter, Tizzy loves a sale at Neiman’s, but I rarely have time to make the trip. The closest one is in Dallas, which is about two hours away, so I have to do most of my shopping at Walmart or online.

Thanks so much for stopping by, Mrs. McAlister. To read more about this character, check out Laid Out and Candle Lit:

Tizzy Donovan is having a run of bad luck. A bakery delivery gone wrong. A bar fight with an old classmate. The discovery of a dead body in the cemetery.

Texas Ranger Ridge Cooper’s luck isn’t much better. He’s finally gotten his first solo case, and it’s in the Podunk town of Brownsboro, Texas. But when he meets local beauty, Tizzy, he thinks his luck is about to change, until she becomes the prime suspect in his case! 

For more about author Ann Everett ~ NYT Best Selling Author (that’s New York, Texas, population 26):
Website: http://www.anneverett.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AuthorAnnEverett/
Twitter     http://www.twitter.com/TalkinTwang
Pinterest   http://www.pinterest.com/loacl/  
Amazon author page   http://www.amazon.com/author/ann.everett 

Don't forget to enter the rafflecopter to win Ann's Cookbook, Sweet Thangs plus four other ebooks!

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Emoji phobia

4/1/2017

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​Much to my dismay, texting has become a part of life. Oh, I suppose it’s fine for quick question/answer situations, but for conversation purposes, it’s excruciating. You have to be brief while still getting your point across. This can easily lead to misunderstandings, especially for someone who frequently speaks sarcasm. My tone of voice speaks volumes. How does one convey tone of voice in brief textual interactions? Oh right, that’s what emojis are for. Except when I pull up the sizable list of possible round, yellow faces, I find myself frozen in confusion and indecisiveness.
​
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​Take this one, for instance. Does it mean ‘That sucks,’ or ‘I’m constipated?’

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​And this one. Does that mean ‘I’m just being a brat,’ or ‘I want to lick you?’

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​Does this mean ‘kiss my ass’ or ‘I wanna make out?’

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​And the one with the teeth. ‘I’m hoping you will overlook my mistake and find me endearing,’ or ‘Watch out, I bite?’

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​I thought this was the sarcasm icon. Apparently it has sexual connotations. So instead of telling my co-worker ‘yea, right!’ I said, ‘you know you want me.’

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​I’m not sure if that means I’m embarrassed or I’m delirious with fever, but one works as a reaction, one as an explanation, so I figure I’m covered either way.

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​Why does this guy have a snot bubble coming out of his nose?

Don’t get me started on all those non-face options. We all know that swirl of brown does not mean chocolate pudding, but what does the robot mean? ‘I’m the terminator?’ And what possible reason could I have for using a pink poodle? An old school Atari joystick? Is that one sexual? And those food icons are oddly specific. Don’t panic everyone, we have emojis for prawns AND yams for all of your seafood and tuber needs.
 
Maybe that’s the fun of emojis, the uncertainty. Maybe they’re being a smart ass, maybe they’re coming on to you. It’s a mystery. Well, I’m not a mystery writer, so I think I’ll stick with the standard 70s smiley face and cryptic text responses. Oh, and non-virtual human interaction. That works too.
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Lights Out

3/1/2017

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​With the crazy weather around here this winter, we’ve had some power outages. The first one happened at midnight. I was in the shower. Sounds like a bad horror movie, right? Yeah, that’s exactly what I was thinking as I stood there in a darkness so completely absent of all light, there was no slow emergence of shapes in the shadows as my eyes adjusted. Just darkness. And silence.
 
I called for my husband, but got no response. This is when panic kicked in. The zombie apocalypse was upon me and I was naked, wet, and still hadn’t gotten my ninja training in yet. Naked & afraid, just like the show. Ok – I have never watched the show. I feel like giving them a pair of boxer shorts would leave them equally as vulnerable and save a lot of editing.
 
But as I fumbled around in the dark, I started to ask myself, what do I have to offer, in the event of an undead holocaust? I read somewhere that beer makers, hunters, and gardeners will be the most valuable members of society in dystopia-type situations. In other words, I’m poised to be a serious waste of resources. I don’t even drink beer, let alone make it; I get grossed-out cleaning the turkey before Thanksgiving; and I kill even the heartiest of plants on a regular basis. I’m pretty sure my role will be something along the lines of ‘bait,’ ‘meat shield,’ or ‘target practice.’
 
So you can imagine my relief when the lights came back on. Plenty of time to learn how to build a solar panel, filter ground water, and master karate. Except I’m pretty sure I’d be the only person over the age of eight at the local beginning karate course, and the idea of taking some kind of eco-science class in my spare time is not exactly appealing. So the next time the power went out I was back to accepting my fate as cannon fodder.
 
Then I watched my children, who bicker over everything from who gets the last muffin to who has to sit in the back seat for a ten minute car ride, take all of thirty seconds to create a game and agree on the rules. It was some combination of hide & seek and capture the flag, involving Halloween masks, strobe lights, and a time machine. They played for hours, and when the lights came back on, my youngest begged me to turn them back off.
 
As I listened to these boys, who had been glued to screens for days, whisper, giggle, and run around in the dark, it occurred to me that instead of learning how to butcher a pig or build a still, maybe a better skill to cultivate would be learning to make the best out of a bad situation. Instead of bemoaning the things I can’t do, enjoy the things I can.
 
But I think I’ll start DVRing Survivorman, just in case.
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Snow Days

2/1/2017

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-We had some serious weather around here the last two months - serious enough to close school 12 times. I have chronicled my snow day experience as a teacher and mom…
 
Snow day #1 – Hallelujah! Three days of professional development was enough to make my brain melt. If I had to show up again today I might have ended up needing a lawyer.
 
Snow day #2 – Ok, a three day week is a nice way to ease back into school after Christmas vacation.

Snow day #3 - Break out the sweats & fuzzy socks! I’m ready to binge watch Walking Dead until I become immune to the jump scare.
 
Snow day #4 – I didn’t feel like getting dressed today anyway.
 
Snow day #5 – I have officially watched everything on my DVR. How is that even humanly possible?
 
Snow day #6 – While I love sleeping in and wearing my pajamas all day, I’m starting to forget what day of the week it is. Tuesday? Thursday? I know it’s one of the T-days.
 
Snow day #7 – Maybe I should re-caulk the bathroom. Wait, I don’t have any caulk. Can a 4WD Subaru make it through a three foot snow drift? (Two hours and a lot of digging later) No. Not if said drift is twenty-feet long. Maybe I could use toothpaste as caulk. It dries like cement, plus it smells minty. Genius.

Snow day #8 - Crap. I've done so much laundry I can't fit anymore clothes in our dresser drawers. If it's a choice between overflowing laundry hamper or overflowing dressers maybe I should quit doing laundry and go take another nap.

Snow day #9 – Pretty sure everyone under this roof had some kind of emotional melt down at some point today. Who knew Minecraft versus Terraria would elicit such an emotionally charged debate?
 
Snow day #10 - Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today to mourn the loss of our summer. June, we hardly knew you.
 
Snow day #11 – Red-rum is not just murder spelled backwards. It’s a magic potion that makes one feel warm and fuzzy when it’s cold outside. Yo ho ho.
 
Snow day #12 – All work and no play makes Audra a dull girl. AllworkandnoplaymakesAudraadullgirl. AllworkandnoplaymakesAudraadullgirlAllworkandnoplaymakesAudraadullgirlAllworkandnoplaymakesAudraadullgirl…
 
It was a long stretch, but I’m happy to report that no axes were wielded during our snow day marathon.
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To be continued...

9/1/2016

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For the past several months my time and energy has been focused on helping my son in his fight against cancer. My writing has taken a back seat as a result, and so I’ve decided to take a brief hiatus from blog posts & my works in progress. It is my hope that my life will be back to normal in 2017, and when it is, I will reboot my blog and get back to my novels. Thanks so much for stopping by and please check in with me again in 2017!
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    Audra Middleton is a somewhat neurotic and terminally sarcastic author and mother of three from Washington State.

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