You know you're a parent if...

You have sniffed someone’s butt with intensity & purpose.


You know the words to Brown Bear by heart.


You have uttered the words “Because I said so!” “So help me!” or “How many times do I have to ask you?”


You no longer go by your first name.


Kisses are part of your first aid regimen.


You wish the word “why” didn’t exist.


You rarely get a chance to pee without an audience.


Any gift with a handprint on it is a treasure.


The words “I’m done!” make you shudder.


You could survive being trapped in your vehicle for a week by living off the spilled Cheerios and French fries.


Poison Control knows you by name.


You have called your mom and apologized for your childhood.


You never knew you could love something so much that smelled so badly.